If you own a dog in Singapore, especially in an HDB, you likely share the same dream I have. It is the "Holy Grail" of dog ownership: The Outdoor-Only Pooper.
We all want it. The idea of a dog who holds it in while indoors and magically unloads the moment their paws touch the grass is the ultimate convenience. Since adopting Ace, he has been an absolute star with potty training in terms of accuracy—he never misses the pee pad.
But when it comes to the "Number Two," we are stuck in a standoff that has lasted years. I haven't found the secret criteria to get him to go consistently, and honestly? I’m starting to think the criteria changes daily.
The "Sort Of" Routine
Technically, Ace does have a routine.
- Morning: One poop (The "Impossible" Mission).
- Evening: One poop (The "Maybe" Mission).
It sounds simple on paper. But in practice, the morning poop is a battle of wills. It is super hard to get him to go consistently before I start my day.
The evening is slightly better, but it relies on a very specific set of variables. If I bring him to the dog run and unleash him, the chances are high. If I keep him on a leash? The odds drop drastically.
The Pavlov Experiment That Failed
I have read every training guide that exists. The most common advice is: "Massively treat him when he goes outside."
The logic is sound. Dog poops outside -> Dog gets amazing treat -> Dog learns that Poop + Grass = Reward.
I have done this religiously for two years. Every time he successfully did his business on the grass, I threw a party. I gave him high-value treats. I praised him like he just won a Nobel Prize.
The result? He still doesn't seem to "get it." He happily eats the treats, looks at me with zero recognition of why he is being fed, and the next day, we are back to square one. I haven’t trained a dog; I’ve just become a very enthusiastic vending machine.
The Park Connector Marathon (A Cautionary Tale)
To highlight just how stubborn this process can be, let me tell you about the skating incident.
I decided to multitask one evening. I thought, "I’ll go skating on the Park Connector (PCN) and bring Ace along. The movement will surely get things moving."
We hit the PCN. I was on my skates, ready to glide. Ace was on his leash, ready to... sniff. He walked. He sniffed. He stopped. He sniffed again. I spent one hour rolling at a snail's pace behind him while he investigated every blade of grass from Bedok to East Coast.
He didn't poop until the 60-minute mark. No joke. There is no forcing a Singapore Special who isn't ready.
The "Desperate Measures" Phase
I am not proud of the things I did in the earlier days when I was frustrated and late for work. When you are desperate, you try strange things.
- The Music: I played calming tunes hoping it would relax him. (It did not).
- The "Butt Poke": This is my rock bottom. I read an online tip about stimulating the area to trigger a reflex. It was weird for me, weird for him, and completely unsuccessful.
Acceptance (and the Dog Run Requirement)
I’ve realized now that for Ace, pooping isn't just a biological function; it’s about privacy and freedom.
He likes to hide in the furthest, darkest corners of the dog run. He needs to be off-leash. He needs to feel like no one is watching.
I have learned to be patient. I’ve stopped the 2-hour death marches. I walk him for his normal duration, and if he doesn't want to go, I just bring him back. Not all dogs are the same, and Ace just happens to be a shy pooper who operates on his own timeline.
My One Wish for the Afterlife
I love Ace more than anything. But I have one specific wish.
One day, hopefully many, many years from now, when I meet Ace in the afterlife, I am not going to ask him "Who's a good boy?"
I am going to look him in the eye and ask: "Why? Why did you hold it in on that Tuesday morning? Why did we have to walk for an hour while I was on skates? What was going through your head?"
Until then, I will just keep buying poop bags and waiting in the dark corners of the dog run.
Over to you: Does your dog have a "poop ritual"? Or do you have one of those miracle dogs that goes on command? Please tell me your secrets (or share your frustrations) in the comments below!
